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Since I don't know what else to write as this day's been slow........
Here's a little something ....






You know
You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When...




  • Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.


  • You ski uphill.


  • You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.


  • You answer the door before people knock.


  • You just
    completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.


  • You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.


  • You have to watch videos in fast-forward.


  • You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.


  • You lick your coffeepot clean.


  • You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."


  • You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.


  • The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.


  • Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's coffee."


  • You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.


  • You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.


  • You can jump-start your car without cables.


  • All your kids are named "Joe."


  • Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."


  • You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.


  • You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.


  • You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.


  • When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick it up. Sixty-three more, I'll have a cup."


  • The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.


  • Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.


  • Instant coffee takes too long.


  • When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."


  • You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can


  • You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.


  • You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.


  • You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."


  • You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.


  • You can outlast the Energizer bunny.


  • You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.


  • You don't tan, you roast.


  • You don't get mad, you get steamed.


  • Your three favorite things in life are...coffee before and coffee after.


  • You consider coffee creamer white death


  • Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.


  • You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.


  • You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."


  • Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.


  • You talk so fast your tongue has windburn.


  • You jog to work and arrive yesterday.


  • Your eyes are brown...even the white parts.


  • You personally account for more than 1% of the Gross National Product of Brazil.


  • Your skin is blacker than Bill Cosby's, and you're Caucasian.


  • Your heartburn ignites brush fires.


  • Mosquitoes that bite you can fly through glass.


  • You bungee jump and go UP.


  • Your coffee breath etches glass.


  • You stand in front of the microwave oven screaming, "Hurry UP!!!"


  • You use coffee beans as suppositories.


  • Your coffee cup is visible from the Space Shuttle.


  • You spend the weekend cross-country skiing....and cross the country!


  • You think skydiving is just too darned slow.







I may write my own when I'm bored and really have nothing else to do... I wrote a "You Know You're Watching Too Much Stargate SG1, When..." list, but I lost that on my HDD somewhere.... must... find... soon... or just write up a new one...

~Jessie

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