Jessie (jessiesk) wrote,
Jessie
jessiesk

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Dwindling Creativity.....

Yeah so... heh. I hadn't slept at all...spent the night reading the Guardian stuff... and wow... was that ever some powerful writing back then or what...I could literaly see things happening...I could feel them.. I was there.. I was Jackie... I could literally feel the pain in my stomach when I read the part where Jackie gets stabbed at one point. That was some really powerful writing back then. I looked at the date on some of those posts, December 2002 onwards to 2003. Wow...

Which brings me to the point of now....You're supposed to improve with years, not get crappier! I can't write!  ... not like I used to... my stuff just sounds too.... 2D... Partially because I think about too many details.. I process things too much and in the end take things too seriously...which helps when I'm writing articles for StudenTalk, but definitely not when I'm writing for simms or.. for enjoyment... I don't enjoy it anymore it seems.. not the way I used to... it feels more like a chore than fun.. it's no longer the creative outlet that it's supposed to be.. it's now a way to make things better in terms of writing.. to improve things.. because a lot of the stuff I write, I re-read and go "does it make sense? is it....possible? is it...flowing like it's supposed to?" and hwen you start asking yourself these questions is when you have to start worrying, because this sort of creative writing is supposed to be ... you know.. CREATIVE... free flowing... there shouldn't be painfull thinking about the details... yet i do that... :: twitches:: I mean heck.. most of my simm characters aren't talking to me.. or if they are I can't hear them.. or maybe I can but i'm going "no this is what I want you to do, because if you do this, it'll look ...weird/why would you do this?" and that sorta thing..

Furthermore,  I have to think about things in my mind, to see if it makes sense before I write it down, and most of the time it ends up not making sense in some part, and I just throw the idea outta the window... :: runs around in circles:: augh...

I think too much! ARGH! Way... too.... much.... 's why my edge's gone... I take it too seriously...set standards too high for my writing... so usually whatever I do write up doesn't see the light as it sucks.. or doesn't even see the comptuer screen.. it just gets written in my mind for most part...

it's like ai set limits for myself, set standards.. and have to fit in there, else it sucks. and it usually falls short.

probably why I've stopped writing lots of creative stuff....I... think... too... much... about.. the... details.... >>.>> and I shouldn't...problem is... it's not easy to stop... ::tugs at hair::
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