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Playing tech support and Library humour

Am playing tech support to some folks today.

Namely a friend of mine and the editor of StudenTalk...gawd... all the spyware... the editor gave her lap top to her nephew, and it came back with tons of sex site induced spyware and ad-aware popups..and she ended up getting a sex site popup every time she went anywhere online.... Go figure...

edit:
back home now...man that felt like a work day.. heh.. spent about 7 hours troubleshooting stuff... and it's mostly spyware and adaware crud that's the problem.

and hooboy...TF stuff...got a CO who's resigned, gotta contact his crew, but the twit deleted the crew info off of the main page and he already deleted his website; so....contacted him asking for a list of his crew so that I can contact them and ask the XO if he wants to take on the command or if they want to go elsewhere in TF17.

Oh heh....found these in a librarians community. Had to post it here, these are just priceless, and some of them actually do apply to our library here...


Please don't eat the books

Please don't eat the plants

Do not throw fruit at the staff
(Money and chocolate are fine)

If you pick up a phone and dial 911, it had better be an emergency because it does call the "real" police

While waiting for your ride home, do not set fire to your homework to keep warm

Public displays of affection that involve the removal of clothing are prohibited

Do not throw the stuffed animals at one another

If someone throws a stuffed animal at you, do not say aloud that you've been hit by a beaver and expect to be taken seriously

You may not take the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue into the washroom

Iguanas are not allowed in the building
(Unless it's a seeing-eye or hearing-ear iguana)

Do not sled down the stairs

If you are out of diapers, do not open the soiled diaper, scoop out the turd, leave the turd on a shelf, and then ask the librarian to tape the newly-cleaned diaper closed again

The staff members do not make enough to lend you money, and panhandling is a crime

Do not park on the sidewalk blocking the entire front entrance, even if you will only be inside momentarily

If you threaten to take an employee outside "to teach him a thing or two about life," we will call the police and we will press charges

The librarian will not get a ladder and climb onto the roof to retrieve your backpack after you "roofed" it, just to see if you could

We do not appreciate condoms being used as bookmarks and left in the books

If you leave an article of clothing behind and we save it in our Lost and Found, we are not responsible for laundering said item

Do not bathe or wash your hair in the sinks or toilets

Pens are not flushable

Smooshing bugs between the pages of a book is not acceptable

Cab dispatchers should not sit at an Internet computer, taking calls and dispatching cabs all day

If you order pizza from our pay phone and have it delivered to you at the library, the library is not responsible for the cost

Any library geek who spends so much time at the library that their loved one has their birthday balloons or flowers delivered to them at the library, should really get a life

No masturbating while at the computers

Unless you're breast-feeding, there is no need to show your boobies

Unless you are in labor and the head is crowning, there is no need to show your cooter*

Babies should be clothed

Do not put your half-full (or half-empty) can of pop into the book return bin

The book return is not an outgoing mailbox

Paying your fines does not entitle you to have a wing of the library named in your honor -- if you had any clue how much a wing in the library would really cost, you'd shut the heck up

You do not pay our salary -- we would never work for someone like you

"No smoking" includes cigars
(and bologna)

None of us are interested in your life story

We are not more likely to break rules to accommodate you if you call us any of the following names: bitch, punk, missy**, grandma, gramps, big-green-jelly-bean, jerk, assh*ole, or any word or phrase that ends in -licker, -sucker, or -f*cker.

Our dress code will not be changed to require the "girls" to wear short skirts

You cannot rollerblade up and down the aisles

Napping on top of the table is not allowed



Yeah...we got a couple of situations at the library some of these can apply to...I oughta show them to the girls at work.. Hehe

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