August 28th, 2003

Doctor Who: 10 - blue smirk look

You know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When...

Since I don't know what else to write as this day's been slow........
Here's a little something ....






You know
You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When...




  • Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.


  • You ski uphill.


  • You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.


  • You answer the door before people knock.


  • You just
    completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.


  • You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.


  • You have to watch videos in fast-forward.


  • You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.


  • You lick your coffeepot clean.


  • You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."


  • You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.


  • The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.


  • Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's coffee."


  • You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.


  • You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.


  • You can jump-start your car without cables.


  • All your kids are named "Joe."


  • Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."


  • You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.


  • You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.


  • You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.


  • When you find a penny, you say, "Find a penny, pick it up. Sixty-three more, I'll have a cup."


  • The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.


  • Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.


  • Instant coffee takes too long.


  • When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."


  • You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can


  • You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee.


  • You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.


  • You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar."


  • You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.


  • You can outlast the Energizer bunny.


  • You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.


  • You don't tan, you roast.


  • You don't get mad, you get steamed.


  • Your three favorite things in life are...coffee before and coffee after.


  • You consider coffee creamer white death


  • Your coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.


  • You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.


  • You think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."


  • Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup.


  • You talk so fast your tongue has windburn.


  • You jog to work and arrive yesterday.


  • Your eyes are brown...even the white parts.


  • You personally account for more than 1% of the Gross National Product of Brazil.


  • Your skin is blacker than Bill Cosby's, and you're Caucasian.


  • Your heartburn ignites brush fires.


  • Mosquitoes that bite you can fly through glass.


  • You bungee jump and go UP.


  • Your coffee breath etches glass.


  • You stand in front of the microwave oven screaming, "Hurry UP!!!"


  • You use coffee beans as suppositories.


  • Your coffee cup is visible from the Space Shuttle.


  • You spend the weekend cross-country skiing....and cross the country!


  • You think skydiving is just too darned slow.







I may write my own when I'm bored and really have nothing else to do... I wrote a "You Know You're Watching Too Much Stargate SG1, When..." list, but I lost that on my HDD somewhere.... must... find... soon... or just write up a new one...

~Jessie
  • Current Mood
    lazy lazy
Doctor Who: 10 - blue smirk look

Cat and Cat Owner's Test

I don't have a thing to write about..... so If you got a cat, this is for you.. ;)







The Cat And Cat Owner's Test


 

 

Humans:

 

Your cat waits and meows at the front door when you arrive. Is it saying:

        a) Welcome home

        b) The phone rang twice while you were out

        c) Feed me, NOW

 

Your cat meows at the door when you go out. Is it saying:

        a) Please don't leave me here all alone

        b) Goodbye

        c) But what if I get hungry while you out?

 

Your cat digs its claws in your leg. Is this:

        a) An unsuppressed primal instinct

        b) A sign of affection

        c) A demand to be fed now

 

Your cat scratches at the door after being fed: Is it saying:

        a) Lemme out - I need to use the garden

        b) Wanna go out and play

        c) Wonder what they've got to eat next door?

 

Cats:

 

Your human walks into the kitchen. Does this mean:

        a) It's hungry

        b) It's lost

        c) You're hungry

 

Your human puts down a bowl of food for you. Is this:

        a) supper

        b) something to keep you going till supper's ready

        c) inedible junk to be scorned in favor of what the human's got.

 

Your human removes you from the top of the television. Does this mean:

        a) You're in trouble - better not do it again

        b) Nothing - humans do this from time to time

        c) The human wants to play, so climb up again to amuse it.

 

Staircases are for:

        a) Getting up to the human's bedroom at 4am

        b) Lying in wait in the dark at the top of

        c) Walking down just slower than the human in front of it.

        d) all of the above






Dogs have owners, cats have staff!

~Jessie
  • Current Mood
    silly silly